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story of a girl.
"go ahead, try to figure out what my future looks like"
static to the sound of you and i 
20th-Dec-2006 11:34 pm
I really feel as if this entire week just accumulated into one big countdown until tomorrow, when I can go home. I am exhausted to the bone, and I'm over worked. And I got myself in over my head with John because well, I didn't listen to my head. The rational side of me made sense all along, but I shoved it aside and went with what I wanted in the moment. (*edit because diana pointed out you'll probably get the wrong idea; it's not what you think lol. I meant just in general.) And I don't regret any of it. But I can't help but feel that with him, there's no end and no beginning. that it hasn't really progressed or diminished. but that really hasn't been bothering me as much as I thought it would. I don't know where the hell we stand because he hasn't made any effort to talk to me, and me, I'm playing along. Whatevs. He can come to me. The work has really been my greatest source of pain. Or I've been, rather. I'm too much of an overachiever, so finals kill me because I literally sit and I study and study and study and when I take a break and try to hang out with people i just feel guilty for not being more productive. god what to do with myself. oh well, one more to go. then it's all lounging around watching Lifetime movies and Vh1 and movies and Garden State and high school parties with cor lmao. I am truly going to miss Michele and Lauren, even Andrew and Truong and Nicole and Hilary's drunkeness and Al and everyone. Michele gave me my Christmas present that we picked out together today ♥ and I'm so glad we kept in touch since we met at orientation. she keeps me sane here, and Lauren's really hysterical, I'm sure me her and Andrew will meet up over break and stir up some trouble. As for tomorrow, can't wait to Fine Grind it with Tara and whoever and then hopefully finish some christmas shopping up with cor!
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